"What's that you've scratched in the dirt Lassie? It seems to say Germany 0, Costa Rica 54........."
Lassie, The Pawed-Prophet

"Thank goodness Crouchie has done his thing. If I ever score again I'll look like John Travolta."
Rio Wild Boy, Duran House

"He seems to be signalling Germany 0, Costa Rica 54. All that urine drinking - it must be sending him mad."
Adoring Bystander, Freaksville

"We've made a deal. Him next door has agreed to step aside and let me win this competition."
Prudence Brown
2, Billionpoundtaxcredits, Black Hole, Little-Bit-More-Politics-Shire

"I like it. This is a real 'One Nation' competition. It's cost-neutral, adds greatly to the happiness stock of the country, and what's more, it could even be won by a Prole."
David Camera-on, Cheese, Interests-of-Balance-Shire

"Ah, the World Cup. That's when the team in yellow win every four years. Oh well."
WH Smiths-Campbell, Surely-Over-Balanced-Now-Shire

"Right listen up men. I'm ordering you all to put down Germany 0, Costa Rica 54. When Jerry hears about it, it will undermine their morale and hasten the Allied victory."
Mainwaring Glasses, Platoon Headquarters

Do you really think that's wise Captain Mainwaring? It may inspire the Germans into trying harder, and make them think we've been distracted from the war effort."
Sargeant Wilson, Pepper House, Walmington-on-Sea

"....and they'll probably think it's a Battleship sinking competition."
Private Walker, Glass House, Walmington-on-Sea