“At last a fair competition. I will be filling out my entry form whilst queuing up at the check-out in Matalan.”
Jose Marine-Boy

"I've had that Ronaldo in the classes trying to shift a few pounds. When he told me he was Brazilian I told him he looked like a Sugar-loaf. Couldn't understand his reply."
Majorie Dawes, Fat Fighter

"Stuff those fat slobs in the crowd at Highbury.
It's only this competition that has given me the Va Va Voom for another four years at Arsenal."
Theiry Bullmissinthe3rdminute, If Only Street

"My advice -Turkey Twizzlers.
Pukka nosh for half time with your pretend mates,
and they're dead cheap now."
Jamie Cauliflower (15)

"He laughed at my Group D predictions."
Arsenal Whinger, Highbury

"Footballski? It's seems boring.........."
Roman Centurion, Billionaire Maximus

"If I don't win this competition the Swear-box will explode."
Malcolm Tucker, No 10

"Rooney's not going anywhere, and he's not doing your competition either. I need the boy fully fit for our pre-season friendly at Tranmere."
Alex Happyhead, Manchester

"If I didn't know he was in the front room, I'd say that really looked like Andy coming on as a substitute for England."
Lou Kafuffle, Home Helper