Euro2012Commentary

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This little page is reserved for Breaking News and Comment on the competition as and when my enthusiasm comes: 30th May: Easy tiger, let me get a bit organised... 7th June: First Celebrity Comment of 2012 received... 8th June: A rush of late entries, with six final contestants desperately scrambling on board at the very last opportunity like it was the final chopper out of Saigon. Entry forms for Brazil 2014 have already been dispatched together with a stern look. In fact having a final, final record head count of 71 honed prediction atheletes meant my spreadsheet overflowed and I've had to work out what on earth I'd done to get it working in those innocent days of Euro 96 when the competition was a mere adjunct to inevitable England footballing glory rather than a scrap of solice in inevitable England footballing failure. I think we're there now and full statistical analysis of every kick can be assured. To the competition action at last, and an incredible 20 points on the day from novelty entrant Amanda Moon. Incredibly incredible in fact. However, in a delicious vindication of Newton's Third Law, this feat was complimented by husband Jes proping up the entire stack with a couple of bagels. I believe you could hear a rolling pin drop in Cline Road as the videprinter came up. 9th June: Well, well, well. Seventy one punters and every last one of us suckered by the Dutch PR machine. That Streaky Danish result ensured points were at a premium, with Michael Whelan's 12 on the day leapfrogging him top. At the bottom, Geoff Pike is really going for Zenith office popularity, the only person yet to score a solitary point after four games, surely an unwanted competition record. 10th June: Absolute disaster! Italy and Spain's one-all draw brings Spocky a Red 10 just as things were looking interesting down there, a 27 place rise bringing hoped-for mid-table anonymity. Not a chance. Up front, competition old timer Kevin West takes up the running at the head of the jostling pack as he abandons his normal tactic of delaying his run from the bottom of the table until the semi-final stage whilst lower down Mr Pike leaps, salmon-like, up to 6th from bottom.
11th June: Well England seemed to have achieved the limit of the objectives by not losing the opening match. We've all had it drummed into us about how crucial it is not to lose that first game because as we now know, first game points are worth more than subsequent game points. To the action proper, and there are some big movers. Both Twinnie Clayton and Stuart Albone have a Lou Reed (ie a "Perfect Day", get with it), finally becoming sombodies in the competition, a record 40 place rise for the Zenith rookie. One to watch Andrew Foggo (secretary of the Glasgow University running club no less), hitherto in second place each day right on the shoulder of the leader like a true pro, stops at the quarter-way checkpoint to rehydrate and is unceremoniously trampled underfoot by the chasing pack. He knows they're just storing up lactic acid problems for themselves and will be easy pickings at the quarter final stage, it's all about holding your nerve at the moment and not going too quickly, as Bill Gearing will testify. Up front, and it's Kevin West having repetitive nose bleeds as he desperately tries to acclimatise to the unaccustomed rarefied atmosphere, Michael Whelan tracking stride for stride. In the Scitech stakes, it's John Overend leading the way, having clearly failed to take on board wife Sue's footballing words of wisdom (alas the financial jackpot will have to be wasted on a placatory bunch of flowers), whilst South Africa 2010 winner Andy Turvil proves an old adage or two down in 55th.		Zlatan celebrates his Red 10 a little prematurely...
12th June: People are finally starting to get the hang of the game with a tremendous six Bill Withers on the day and from some unexpected quarters too, none more so than Spocky who dares to poke his head up in the poppy field; I'll keep you posted. Meanwhile the hot news is that Kevin West, handicapped now by his reduced haemoglobin levels, has been overtaken at the top by Alfie Bennett - there'll be no talking allowed at the Bennett family breakfast tomorrow. Yesterday's big mover Twinnie Clayton proves he's totally shot by that effort, spending today flapping around and going nowhere like a spent salmon in the shallows. Elsewhere, steady progress from "possible former joint winner" Rhoda Miles brings her within striking distance of the top along with competition favourite Karen Black and Polly "stopped clock" Moon whose persistent 1-1 predictions produce a record fourth Red 10 (we all know that's cheating though, tch). Talking of Red 10s, a mere 13 people are yet to get one, it could soon be time to start naming names....
14th June: A fully rehydrated Andrew Foggo storms back and hits the front, but experienced campaigner that he is, he knows it's way too soon. He's desperately looking round for someone to come through to take up the pace making (judging by his next predictions anyway). Andy Turvil could be the naive fool to do it judging by recent progress, Fabregas's late fourth against the Irish only partially saving him from himself. Alas potential long-term damage to future family relationships is preventing me from enjoying the snappily-named "last person to get a Red-10 competition sub-plot" to its full extent; commentary here may soon be subcontracted to Andy Woodland, who I suspect from the recent chirp would have no such compunction.
15th June: England astound everyone by somehow sneaking a win against the Viking hordes with Danny Welbeck still sticking to his story. A number of Gregos Traitorellis deservedly come a cropper as a result but basically it's a slow news day, with just a slight rearrangement of competition places, no doubt rather akin to deckchairs on the Titanic.
16th June: Andrew Foggo in desperation pulls a double bagel and finally manages to get out of first place. Meanwhile, Dave "stopped clock" Grant whose persistent 1-0 predictions produce a 20 point day haul (we all know that's cheating though, tch) advances to the sanctuary of the mid-pack mosh-pit, as fellow 20-pointers Neil Thompson and Dave Carter also body-slam upwards. At the same time Alfie Bennett, James Dare and Rhoda Miles serenely crowd-surf over the heads of the adoring throng and on to the first place stage, no doubt prior to Security escorting them off to the anonymity of the competition chill-out room after some fleeting acclamation. 17th June: What's all this? Many congratulations must go to former competition whipping-girl Karen Black as she hits the front after ludicrously predicting the Dutch demise. Meanwhile in the Scitech Stakes, Simon Howard bravely fends off the charge of Sue Overend, whose personal mission it is to prove that lightening can strike twice and thereby to earn the right once more to silence any legitimate office footballing talk over the next two years with the merest hint of a strategically raised eyebrow.		Despite their Euro exit the Dutch team's first thought is to compare their competition scores
Apologies for the sudden radio-silence, a competition round up will be coming soon (maybe).......