Euro 96 - The Final Countdown

Pos	Points	Name	Rating	Judge’s Analysis
1=	106	Rhoda White	Superb Late Run	The blushes of the Leatherhead Scout Fellowship were saved by an impressive second phase taking joint top spot. Paid the penalty for predicting Germany v Italy to produce 5 goals though.
1=	106	Neil (VBall)	Tremendous first phase, but eased-up on the line	Don’t know who you are, but who do you think you are trying to beat the Leatherhead Scout Fellowship at football?
1=	106	Stuart McDonald	Stu-pendous first phase, but eased-up on the line	Do know who you are, but who do you think you are trying to beat the Leatherhead Scout Fellowship at football?
4	96	Dave Herbert	Solid first phase, excellent second phase	Creditable performance, wasn’t to know that Teddy Sheringham would actually score against Holland.
5=	92	Stan Burgess	Well done Pops!	Ghosted in from nowhere like Martin Peters with a tremendous second phase 26 points.
5=	92	Mandy West	Excellent performance, what a fine pedigree for young James	Yes, this performance buoyed by a superb group B. Obviously doesn’t subscribe to Four Four Two.
7=	90	Nige (VBall)	Early promise not quite sustained in second phase	Don’t know who you are, but do you want to try beating the Leatherhead Scout Fellowship at volleyball?
7=	90	Twinny	Steady performance with an excellent Group C	It’s time to hang up your pen and concentrate on coaching those skills of the next generation.
9=	86	James West	A future Gillwell captain makes his mark	Excellent use of a limited vocabulary by this wunderkind. Learned a new syllable for the quarter finals, but returned to trusty formula thereafter. Has doubtless already deduced the existence of Ken Bates, corner flags and Franny Lee’s terrible open-goal miss in the 1970s.
9=	86	Kevin West	You can hold your head high	Obvious engineering of a draw with ‘Sonny Jim’. Don’t fall for it James, keep him off the Scaletrix set.
9=	86	Ian Maylin	Good steady performance	Takes the accolade of Therfield Sixth Form Champion with a fine second phase.
12=	84	Chris Staples	Goodish steady performance	Maintained the coveted 12th position throughout the contest. Pipped in the Therfield stakes.
12=	84	Steve Bell	Good steadyish performance	Managed to take joint honours for that 12th position thanks to Herr Bierhoff’s late double strike.
14=	82	Woody	Mid-pack also-ran	Appeared to think that beating Spocky by 18 points would ensure a reasonable position.
14=	82	Ian Mcfarlane	If only....	A real Matt Le Tissier performance this one. Played well early on, got himself into a good position and then just didn’t bother in the second half, except for a single flash of brilliance.
14=	82	Terry Bennett	Unlucky in the second half of the competition	Appeared to take that Möller penalty worse than most, ridden speechless for four days.
17=	80	Fiona Bennett	Even unluckier in the second half of the competition	Commendable loyalty in allowing at least one Tel to win something.
17=	80	Gerry Hooker	This is starting to get to the wrong end of the table	Appeared to take that Nadal penalty better than most, ridden speechless for seven days.
17=	80	Wally West	Oh well	It just didn’t quite click for one of the pre-tournament favourites. May possibly have read Four Four Two.
20	76	Ann Cosgrove	Slight stamina problem, fell away a bit in the latter stages.	Bright start, but Group A let down this previously unknown force from Alton.
21=	74	Bryan Reid	Good recovery	Was in real Spocky territory after the first set of matches but kept plugging away and finally gained respectability.
21=	74	Richard (VBall)	Distracted from the competition by trying to obtain Stuart Pearce’s signature for the volleyball club	The last member of our Volleyball contingent, who has suddenly developed an Achilles’ tendon problem and so missed out on the commiserations of his friends.
23=	72	Andy West	Still finding his feet at international level.	A group D that Spock would have been proud of, mustering just four points. It was never going to be easy after that.
23=	72	John Irwin	Still finding his pen at international level.	Spent far too much time actually going to matches and hence couldn’t put in the long hours on the sofa necessary to compete at this level.
23=	72	Budge	Incredibly unlucky, deserved to win really	But for an inexplicable obsession with Romania would certainly have won the competition.
26	70	Roger Wilmot	It’s tough at this level	Nothing that can’t be put right without the help of a bit of coaching from the McDonald lad.
27	68	Mark Burgess	Late entrant to the race, rather left in the stalls.	Poor second phase caused slip down the ratings. Better luck next time.
28	64	Spock	A truly appalling performance in every department	The dictionary was being plumbed for new adjectives prior to Bierhoff’s late double which earned our relieved hero his highly satisfactory final rating.
29	56	Sam & Jack	Like our Dutch friends, this team clearly suffered from a bit of internal dissent	Must learn not to drink from the poisoned chalice of Daddy’s advice. However, rumored to have recently received 15 tons of un-marked stencil board.
30	54	Harvey West	Too much Wacky Backy	Difficult to explain this one, but expect a much improved performance at World Cup 98.